Mental Health and Money: The Hidden Cost of Stress in the City

Breathe in. Hold it for three seconds. Breathe out.

If you are reading this while rushing between meetings in Sandton, or while sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the N1, or perhaps late at night when the city lights of Cape Town are flickering outside your window—I want you to pause. Just for a moment.

We often talk about the “hustle.” In South Africa, we celebrate the grind. We applaud the early mornings and the late nights. We wear our busyness like a badge of honour. But amidst the noise of the city and the pressure to succeed, there is a silent conversation we often forget to have.

It is the conversation about how our minds and our wallets are connected.

Mental health and money are like siblings. When one is unwell, the other often catches a cold. When we are stressed, we spend differently. When we are anxious about finances, our peace of mind vanishes.

As Thando, your City Insider, I’m usually here to tell you where to find the best deals or the coolest spots. But today, I want to invite you to a softer space. Let’s talk about the hidden cost of city stress, and how to find a gentle balance between your bank account and your well-being.

The City Hum: Is It Energizing or Exhausting?

There is an electric energy in our South African cities. The rhythm of Johannesburg, the beauty of Cape Town, the warmth of Durban. It drives us. But that same energy can sometimes feel like a treadmill that never stops.

We live in a culture of “more.” More success, more property, more experiences. And while ambition is beautiful, it comes with a price tag that isn’t always printed on the label.

The “I Deserve This” Trap

Have you ever had a brutally hard week at work, and on Friday afternoon, you walk into a store and buy something expensive you didn’t plan for? You say to yourself, “I worked so hard, I deserve this.”

Of course, you deserve joy. You deserve treats. But often, this isn’t about the item; it’s about soothing. We use spending as a way to numb the exhaustion of the city. We buy convenience (Uber Eats every night) because we are too mentally drained to cook. We buy clothes to feel a spark of excitement in a monotonous week.

This is the hidden cost of stress. We are literally paying to cope with our lifestyles.

To find a more sustainable way to structure your life so you don’t need to escape it through spending, I highly recommend reading my guide on The Art of Living Well in South Africa: Balancing Comfort, Culture, and Cost. It’s about building a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside.

The Cycle: When Money Feels Like Heavy Rain

Let’s be gentle with ourselves here. Financial anxiety is real, and it is valid.

When money is tight, our bodies react. Our cortisol (stress hormone) spikes. We might lose sleep. We might withdraw from friends because we can’t afford the brunch. This isolation makes us feel worse, which might lead us to “doom spend” to feel a connection again.

It is a cycle, but it is a soft cycle to break. It doesn’t require drastic action; it just requires awareness.

Recognizing the Signs

• The 3 AM Worry: Waking up thinking about bills.
• The Avoidance: Being afraid to check your banking app for weeks.
• The “Retail Therapy” Hangover: The guilt you feel the day after a splurge.

If you recognize these, please know: You are not bad with money. You are just a human being reacting to a high-pressure environment.

1. Reclaiming Your Peace (For Free)

The antidote to city stress isn’t a R2,000 spa day (though those are nice). The true antidote is recalibrating your nervous system. And the most beautiful thing? The best remedies in South Africa are free.

Nature as Medicine

We live in one of the most beautiful countries on Earth. Green spaces reduce cortisol levels almost instantly.

• In Joburg: A quiet Saturday morning walk at The Wilds or Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens.
• In Cape Town: Sitting on a rock at Bakoven beach, just listening to the ocean.
• In Durban: A walk along the Golden Mile at sunrise.

These moments cost nothing, but they deposit huge amounts of value into your “Mental Wealth” account. When you are calm, you make better financial decisions. You don’t impulse buy because you already feel full.

The Art of “JOMO”

We all know FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). But the Soft Life embraces JOMO—the Joy Of Missing Out. It is the relief of saying, “No, I won’t be coming to that expensive dinner. I’m going to stay home, make tea, and read a book.”

• The Financial Win: You save R500+.
• The Mental Win: You protect your energy and get to rest.

2. Financial Self-Care: A Love Language

We often view budgeting as a punishment. We think of it as a diet for our wallets—restrictive and mean.

I want you to reframe this. Budgeting is a form of self-care. Knowing exactly where you stand financially is the kindest thing you can do for your future self. It removes the mystery. It removes the monster under the bed.

The “Money Date”

Instead of dreading your finances, make it a ritual.

• The Setting: Once a month, light a candle. Pour a glass of wine or your favourite tea. Put on some lo-fi music.
• The Action: Gently open your banking app. Look at your numbers with curiosity, not judgment. “Oh, I spent a lot on coffee this month. That’s okay. Let’s adjust for next month.”
• The Goal: To create a plan that supports your life, rather than restricting it.

Automating Peace of Mind

One of the biggest stressors is remembering to pay things.

• The Soft Hack: Automate your savings. Even if it’s just R200 a month. Set it to go into a savings account the day you get paid. You don’t see it, you don’t stress about it, but you are slowly building a safety net. That safety net is your “Sleep Well at Night” fund.

3. The High Cost of Burnout

In the city, we often feel like we are machines. But machines have off switches. Humans have burnout.

Burnout is expensive.

• It costs money in medical bills.
• It costs money in lost income if you can’t work.
• It costs money in “recovery spending” (takeaways, convenience services).

Rest is not “lazy.” Rest is productive. Taking a weekend to do absolutely nothing—no side hustles, no emails, no events—is an investment in your greatest asset: You.

If you are constantly tired, your decision-making fatigue sets in. That’s when you make poor financial choices. A rested mind is a sharp mind. A rested mind saves money.

4. Curating Your Feed, Curating Your Mind

We cannot talk about mental health and money without talking about social media. The “Comparison Trap” is the thief of joy.

When you scroll through Instagram and see someone’s new car, luxury holiday, or designer outfit, your brain plays a trick on you. It tells you that you are “behind.” It tells you that you aren’t doing enough.

This feeling of inadequacy leads to spending money we don’t have to impress people we don’t know.

The “Soft” Cleanse

• Unfollow: Gently unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel anxious about your lifestyle or finances.
• Follow: Fill your feed with accounts that promote slow living, nature, financial education, and humour.
• Reality Check: Remember that social media is a highlight reel. Nobody posts their debt. Nobody posts their anxiety attacks. You are comparing your “Behind-the-Scenes” to their “Trailer.”

5. Destigmatizing Help

Sometimes, a bubble bath and a budget spreadsheet aren’t enough. And that is okay.

In South Africa, we are getting better at talking about therapy, but the cost can be a barrier. However, viewing therapy as an “expense” is the wrong lens. Therapy is an investment.

Untreated anxiety or depression can lead to significant financial loss through impulsive behavior or inability to work.

Accessible Resources

If private therapy feels out of reach right now, there are incredible organizations that offer support for free or at a low cost.

• SADAG (South African Depression and Anxiety Group): They are a beacon of hope. They offer free telephonic counselling and support groups.
• Universities: Many universities with psychology departments offer reduced-rate clinics for the public.

Checking in with a professional is just like taking your car for a service. It keeps everything running smoothly.

6. Small Rituals of Joy (Under R100)

Let’s replace the “Big Spend” dopamine hit with “Small Joy” serotonin. Here are gentle ways to treat yourself in the city without stress:

• The Coffee Ritual: Instead of grabbing a takeaway cup and rushing, sit down. Order your coffee in a ceramic cup. Read a magazine for 20 minutes. Taste the coffee.
• Fresh Flowers: Buy a R80 bunch of flowers from Woolies or a street vendor. Arrange them yourself at home. It brings life into your space.
• The Library: A library card is free. Wandering through rows of books is peaceful. Taking a stack of books home feels like abundance.
• Cooking as Meditation: Buy fresh ingredients. Put on jazz. Cook a meal slowly, not because you have to eat, but because you enjoy the process.

You Are Doing Enough

Dear Reader,

If you take only one thing from this article, let it be this: You are enough.

Your worth is not tied to your net worth. Your value is not determined by how busy you are or how many brand names are in your closet.

The city will always be fast. The lights will always be bright. But you have the power to create a quiet sanctuary within yourself. By treating your money with respect and your mind with kindness, you can navigate the urban jungle with grace.

Be soft with yourself. Your bank account, and your heart, will thank you.

How do you find peace in the chaos of the city? Share your gentle tips in the comments below.

FAQ: Mental Health and Money

Q: Can financial stress actually make me physically sick?

A: Yes, unfortunately. Financial stress is a leading cause of chronic anxiety, which can lead to headaches, high blood pressure, and sleep issues. This is why we treat mental health and money as a holistic health issue.

Q: I feel guilty when I spend money on myself. How do I stop?

A: Guilt often comes from a lack of planning. If you budget R500 specifically for “Fun/Treats,” you have permission to spend it. It turns the spending from a “mistake” into a “plan.”

Q: Is it better to save money or pay for therapy?

A: If you are in crisis, your mental health is the priority. You cannot earn money if you are unable to function. Look for affordable options (like SADAG or medical aid benefits), but prioritize your mind. It is the engine that runs your life.

Q: How do I say no to friends who want to spend money?

A: Be honest but gentle. “I’m in a ‘Soft Saving’ era right now, so I’m skipping the expensive dinner. But I’d love to come over for tea or go for a walk with you.” Real friends will respect your boundaries.

Q: What is a “F*ck Off Fund” (or a Freedom Fund)?

A: It is a savings account that gives you the freedom to leave a toxic job or a bad situation. Having this cash buffer reduces anxiety because you know you are not trapped. It is the ultimate mental health insurance.